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20 Movie Reviews


i have good words to say

but i'm sleepy and i'll just say watch this animation. It'll make u wanna cuddle with someone tonight

smart, but..

the animation and art failed in comparison to the script. Maybe it'd float if it was intentional but it's clearly not. The mother has 2 left hands and the perspectives are inconsistant and distorted. These are things that don't nessisarily come with being a better artist, just spend more time on the artwork.. it looks rushed. to me it just shows lack of commitment to other portions of your piece. Also the flashbacks are funny, but at you're rate of cartoon cameo's ur gonna be out of fresh material halfway thru your next cartoon. Try to think of other ways to do flashbacks with just your characters, because i can see that portion of your cartoon being played out. When things become predictable, it's not funny anymore, and it's been a while since i've seen a humorous animation on newgrounds, so I'd like to see this show work just as much as you. Good luck, and if you need any pointers with backgrounds, characters or animation feel free to contact me. I've worked for several animation studios in nyc so I can definatly give you some more constructive criticism.

4 mb is not worth what i just sat thru

There's alot u need to improve on... to get a lasting animation on this site i'd recomend drawing classes or rotoscoping live action..

good job on recreating the characters, but

the mouth movements are horrible, all you need is at most 10 different mouth positions and instead of motion tweening the mouth actually do some lipsync, you did have the work (if this isn't stolen) why slack off with the mouth and body movements.. I'd also HIGHLY recomend upping the fps to at least 24 frames per second. That's the second thing that will close the gap between ur version and the original.

not bad artwork but...

that GOD AWFULL song ruins everything. I know ur illustrating the song, but jeeze, it's horrible i couldn't bare to watch the rest of it because that song was just too slow and too bad. I like alot of music, but that was just plain shit

ur "band" is only good with the cartoon

don't go on tour without it..
Lacked effort but it was ok for shits n' giggles and i'm assuming that's all it's ment for so... not bad

U have a lot of promise in ur creativity

I like the music and how it contrasts with the bizzare characters. i also like how there were no loose ends in ur story even tho the resolution for all the problems had an odd yet funny outcome. Artistically, I would like ur work better if u cleaned up some of ur artwork (maybe not outline objects in the background n' stuff with black) I know ur drawing on a computer, but this is my only constructive criticism. The style from this funny cartoon seems a little unoraganized.. If u get a better style down (maybe draw ur own characters instead of using avtars or just use their heads and draw the rest of their bodies so they look like they share a common bond) Anyhoo I hope u try some of my suggestions because i could almost garauntee better ratings if u did. Either way please E-MAIL ME when u finish ur next animation I truly would like to see it.. breadstorm@hotmail.com GOOD LUCK

it was somewhat entertaining...

then i realised u have devoted the majority of ur flash submissions to flaming this kid. I bet the majority of the people watching this cartoon hear this kids name for the first time from u. He's not worth all that time u put into these cartoons (which btw still isn't enough to earn appreciation IMO), and he's also not a topic worth talking about for more than 2 episodes (tops)..

PLUS I question why this cartoon isn't removed because it is Obviously making fun of an NG member.. THIEF or not this is an animated example of what NG users are NOT supposed to do when reviewing submissions, and I am curious as to why Wade supports this. I don't know the actual story behind it all, but just because Wade doesn't like the guy doesn't make it right for him to make acceptions to his own laws. But i could care less either way, this is not a subject that keeps me from sleeping at night.

It worked, but some pointers...

It was effective for being on a computer screen, and definatly different but i thought the clouds were some type of ice berg that was slowly making its way towards the dolphins.. anyways i think this submission would be better if u moved the cloud up a little further so it is off the horizon line. Fog is the only thing that should be that low. Good luck

a story that everyone will eventually live out

This is a good story that for those who have not yet experienced what it is like to have someone you love fuck around with your emotions. It's pretty much something that all men have to go threw at one point or another in their life, because women are bitches like that. Btw if there are any fine 18-22 yr old women reading this, i'm sorry, and call me?
thanks

Im currently working on a new series for adult swim called SUPER JAIL! It premieres in October, be sure to check it out! oh yeah and it's all done in flash!

Edmond Hawkins @BREADSTORM

Age 41, Male

Animator

University of the Arts

Brooklyn, NY

Joined on 3/23/00

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